Mz Manners

You won't get this kind of advice from your mom and grandma.

Monday, January 02, 2006

A Happy Surprise

Dear Mz. Manners,

Recently, I was snooping through my boyfriend’s computer to find out what he’s got on there and received quite a surprise. He had a whole porn folder! And some of it was quite kinky. Not only did he have movies about two girls and a guy having sex, but also ones with two guys and girl! It totally freaked me out and now I am now worried that he’s gay. Do you think I should break up with him?

Best,
Snoopy


Dear Snoopy,

This is the problem people tend to face when they insist on violating their loved ones privacy. But that is a topic for another time. You should be THRILLED about the porn folder on your boyfriend’s computer. Now you know exactly what turns him on. It is great news that he is into doing it with two men. What a windfall for you! I say jump in as soon as possible.

This new found information will now make it easier for you to show him all the inappropriate dirty things you’d like him to do to you. Next Friday night tell your boyfriend that you'd like to have a quite night at home. Then take a gander at your local XXX video store. Pick out whatever gives you a tingle in your jingle and RUN to you date. Believe me, it will make your boyfriend fall in love with you all over again!

Happy Friday night!

Love,

Mz Manners


2 Comments:

  • At 10:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Dear Mz Manners - I loved your advice for this question. But I don't have porn in my closet - well not from a store anyway......I have a few um sexual devices and a closet video recorder behind a fake mirror in my bedroom. I've got a collection of over 200 men doing really demeaning things. Like anal sex with dildos and the like...I mean they are all at least 17 and I have it recorded that they want to lick my floor clean etc, but is it lying not to tell them about the video tapes?

    Please calm my nerves,
    Love,
    Closet Freak

     
  • At 12:24 PM, Blogger Mz Manners said…

    Dear Closet Freak,

    I am not sure I understand your question. Did you write it from your closet? It seems that way. Let me take a stab at it:

    Yes, it is wrong to videotape people from behind a mirror. Whether you are video taping your girlfriends or boyfriends, proper etiquette dictates that the video recorder is in plain view of the sexual act. It is more fun that way anyway! If you both know that you're making a movie, imagine how many more close ups you can film! Get out of the closet, Freak. That is my advice to you.

    Happy movie making!

    Love,
    Mz. Manners

     

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