Mz Manners

You won't get this kind of advice from your mom and grandma.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Does Size Matter? (When You're Talking About A Clitoris?)

Dear Mz Manners:

I recently applied for disability insurance but was denied coverage. I have a very small clitoris and I am constantly being discriminated against, making it difficult for me to work. Don’t you think the government should compensate me for my disability?

Thanks for the advice.

Little and Belittled

P.S. Do you think if I put up signs in my neighborhood for a small clitoris support group that people would come?

Dear Little and Belittled,

The government should definitely compensate you for your disability. Clitoris Little Itsy Tiny Syndrome (C.L.I.T.S.) is a condition that affects both men and women in a very serious way. Not only does the man have to spend much more time down that trying to figure out what the hell is going on, but also more often than not, he fails at his quest. This leaves his loved one in a very sweaty and unhappy position (in more ways than one). Lesbians have an easier time dealing the C.L.I.T.S. for obvious reasons. I think you should contest your workers comp and do whatever it takes to get your just due! If that means an “in person meeting” to show just how effected you are by C.L.I.T.S. then so be it.

You should definitely poster your entire neighborhood with C.L.I.T.S. support group signs. You will be surprised and comforted by how many people show up to your meeting. And you will also be shining light on a syndrome that, until now, has not been taken very seriously for some reason.

In the meantime, I suggest buying a toy that might help relieve you of your pain. Check out this toy from
Toys in Babeland .

You and your partner will have two tools with which to find your little itsy tiny clitoris!

Good Luck!


Mz Manners


  • At 12:53 AM, Blogger tront said…

    It does matter, and i feel sorry for this lady with the small one. The clitoris is such a favorable part of the VAG! More bang for your FUCK! My suggestion is that instead of posters she spends more time working to buy a microscope so her multiple partners can find the Clitoris more easier.

  • At 10:00 AM, Blogger Mz Manners said…

    Thanks so much for your idea tront! This is a good one, though we have heard rumors of several traumas occurring when some of our followers used the magnifying method while outside. One thing you don't want is a blaring sun looking through a magnifying glass at your clitoris. Some believe that this is one of the many causes of C.L.I.T.S to begin with. But inside, this is a wonderful solution!


    Mz Manners

  • At 10:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Sure - give the ladies with the little clits all the support. What about us huge clitted women? My shit puts most MEN to shame. Guys go down and are like - "WHAT? You trying to pull a Crying Game on me?"

    What about us? Who will represent?

    It's up to this blog -

    Please help.

  • At 12:36 PM, Blogger Mz Manners said…

    Congratulations huge clit! You are one of the lucky ones. Not only do you practically have a penis (which is much more honored in our current society) but you don't have to sit through hours of fumbling while your partner trying to find it. I fully support huge clitted women - they hold much power and receive much satisfaction. I would suggest that you buy a clitoris cup to wear so that when you mistakenly brush up against something, you don't get your panties wet.

    Have fun with yourself!

    Mz Manners

  • At 4:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I have a small penis but very large testicles. What should I do?

  • At 3:34 PM, Blogger Mz Manners said…

    Dear small p LARGE T,

    Have you been doing your penis enlargement exercises? Studies show that when a man has large testicles, the exercises are 5 times more likely to work. So pull down your pants and get sweaty!


    Mz. Manners

  • At 11:15 PM, Anonymous Daddy Spank said…

    wow. missuz manners? you are HOT when you talk about enlarging penises and getting sweaty.

    yum yum yum.

  • At 9:28 AM, Blogger Mz Manners said…

    Dear Daddy Spank,

    Small p LARGE T syndrome is not only an embarrassing condition, but it can also be uncomfortable and can sometimes result in the penis continually getting lost in the testicles. In short, it is no laughing matter. While I appreciate your lighthearted (somewhat disturbing) humor, I would ask that you have some respect for those who have to live with these serious problems.

    Have a wonderful day!

    Your Friend,
    Mz Manners

  • At 3:59 PM, Anonymous Wondering said…

    I have a huge clit, and was wondering if that's bad? Do guys like big ones? Or prefer small ones please tell me


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