Mz Manners

You won't get this kind of advice from your mom and grandma.

Saturday, December 31, 2005

Office Gifts Suck!

This holiday season I bought a little gift for everyone in my office (10 people). I got some gifts too and I immediately thanked my co-workers for thinking of me. But no one thanked me for my gift. What does that mean? Should I ask them why?

Holly Dazednconfused

Dear Holly,
Office gift giving is rather tricky. But I bet they just didn't like your gifts. I mean did you get them a paper clip holder or something? Next holiday season I recommend the following for your co-workers:
1. A flask for their favorite break time beverage
2. An inflatable chair for their naps
3. A bullet proof vest to protect them from the backstabbers
4. A riding crop (or paddle) to use on those who confuse staff meetings with nap time
5. A red rubber ball bondage gag for those who refuse to shut up during staff meetings

This year is over so just file your experience under lessons learned. Although, if you do have a paddle or riding crop available you can just use it on the thankless fucks who were so rude to you this year!

Happy New Year!

Mz Manners


  • At 2:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Office gifts?? You're supposed to get people office gifts? Nobody ever gets me and office gift! What does that mean? (and how do I get someone to buy me a paddle?)

    horny and concerned

  • At 2:09 PM, Blogger Mz Manners said…

    Dear Horny,

    First, you misbehave. Then you drop a copy of the Toys in Babeland catalog in their inbox. So far I have received 5 paddles and 7 red rubber ball bondage gags, all for free!

    You can also email your entire company at once with this link. I find mass emailing both efficient and effective.

    Hopefully everyone at work is over 18.

    Mz Manners


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