Mz Manners

You won't get this kind of advice from your mom and grandma.

Saturday, December 31, 2005

Love On The Run . . .

Dear Mz Manners:

Yesterday a guy smashed into me on the subway, I dropped my bags, and my new pink dildo fell onto the platform.

Luckily it was in the package.) He couldn’t hear my well phrased, albeit shrieked, insults because he was wearing an iPod.
Are iPod wearers exempt from saying excuse me and pardon me just because they are in their own worlds? Don’t you think that iPods are decreasing the quality of life in New York City?


Dear iPissed,

Boy do I feel your pain! All I can say is, you are very lucky that your new pink dildo was in the package. Believe me, it is no fun when you have to chase your sex toy down the subway platform because the fall turned the damn thing on.

(imagine this little number on the run)

The answer is, no, IPod wearers are not allowed to bump into people and then pretend that it never happened. Proper etiquette would have been for him to do the following, in this order:

1. remove his earphone
2. apologize
3. pick up your new pink dildo
4. realize what it is
5. ask you out to dinner
6. get you drunk
7. play with you new pink dildo (with you)
8. become your new boyfriend.
Obviously your IPod wearer was WAY off. Good luck next time!


Mz Manners


  • At 3:43 PM, Blogger Crescendo said…

    Funny topics.
    Happy New Year to you !

  • At 9:47 AM, Blogger Noojes said…

    Ha ha that was a riot

    What a way to bring in the new year Mz Manners...

    Happy 2006


  • At 2:29 PM, Blogger Mz Manners said…

    Happy New Year Crescendo! Happy New Year Noojes! Hope this will be a great year for you both. If you have any questions that Mz Manners can help you with this year, feel free to ask them!

    Mz Manners

  • At 10:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    OHMYGOD This totally happened to ME! I am so glad I'm not the only one. Except my vibrator did not fall on the subway platform, but in the subway CAR! And the passengers just SAT there and watched me as I frantically went chasing after my loose leopard pink vibrator. GIRLS! TOTALLY TAKE OUT THE BATTERIES WHEN IN TRANSIT!

    I really can NOT believe I'm not dead from embarassment.

    (I'm so not telling you my name.)


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